


Coming Together

by HoneyImHomoLAHR (MrsChipRockefeller)



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Developing Relationship, Drug Addiction, Fist Fights, Homosexuality, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Kidnapping, M/M, Minor Character Death, Multiple Personalities, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Rehabilitation, Relationship Problems, Wakes & Funerals, coulrophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-23 13:28:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 12,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13788714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsChipRockefeller/pseuds/HoneyImHomoLAHR
Summary: Spencer and Aaron become close after suffering a loss on a case





	1. Tragedy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team lose one of their own

Tragedy

It was all his fault he thought as they sped towards the house of the man they now knew to be the UnSub. He'd sent her right into the lion den. He should have never let her go there alone when they thought he could be a potential. She'd only joined his team six months ago and had been trying so hard to make him proud.

It wasn't even her fault he was reserved with her. It was his. After all he was the one who had signed her onto his team; she hadn't been planted on it to be a mole. He'd even quickly accepted her as a valuable asset to the team in the wake of JJ and Kate taking time off for maternity leave.

It had all changed with one minor conversation. One day Reid had turned to her mentioning how her surname was just like the trill on Deep Space Nine's. She'd smiled that she was proud of it and they'd got into a deep conversation then and there about Star Trek and he'd seen them become as close as he and Reid had been since Maeve died.

Since then he'd seen less and less of Reid and it hurt more than anything but he tried to show it. He'd felt he'd been replaced by their new agent even though no-one had known how close he and Spencer had become since Spencer had also lost someone he loved to the hands of an UnSub. Everyone that is except Dave who repeatedly told him to get his head out of his arse and talk to Spencer how he felt.

He didn't know if Dave knew the depth of his feelings for Spencer or if he didn't care. It hadn't hurt being replaced it had broken his heart though he tried not to show it. He couldn't stop thinking about him and he got jealous every time he saw them together. He wanted to rip her hand off Spencer's arm when she placed it on and steal him back but he knew it was irrational.

Spencer wasn't his no matter how he hurt. He had no idea how much he loved him. He'd been too much of a coward to admit how much he'd come to mean to him before he started spending time with Agent Dax. He hadn't even realised how far gone he was until that day.

Now it was all his fault she was all alone in that man's house. He'd let his jealously cloud his judgement when Spencer had offered to scope out the place with her. Something he'd promised he'd never do when the green monster had first reared it's ugly head. Now she could be in critical danger. If only he'd sent Morgan or Dave with her she wouldn't have been alone. He just prayed they got there in time.

When they reached the house they parked and ran out towards the front door. They scoped the house with their guns drawn not knowing what they'd find. He heard faint screams coming from the basement so he quietly went down the stairs signalling Reid to follow him with their guns drawn.

When he saw her lying there on the floor fighting for her life he tried to swallow the lump in his throat. It was all his fault; he should never have let her go alone with no-one to back her up. He then saw her give in and tears misted his eyes while threatening to choke him. He shook them off and raised his gun as soon as he reached the bottom of the stairs.

"It's too late, agents. She's gone," Ryan smiled.

Finally he snapped and shot every bullet out of his Glock almost taking off Ryan's head. He was about to take out the gun on his ankle when he felt a hand on his arm. He looked to his side to see Spencer's devastated face.

"He's gone," he answered trying not to show the tears that bubbled under his voice.

He nodded numbly and tried to swallow the tears that were threatening to come to the surface asking, "How about Melanie?"

The younger man got down by the other agent feeling her pulse and looked up at their boss with the tears streaming down his face shaking his head. Aaron tried to blink away the tears that were currently stinging his eyes and slid down the wall. It was all his fault he thought as the tears overcame him. What was he going to tell the team let alone her parents?


	2. Funeral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Agent Dax's funeral

Funeral

He was at home a few days later getting ready to attend Agent Dax's funeral. The team hadn't been back to the Bureau since having been given compassionate leave to grieve her death in their own space and ways. He knew when they got back he was going to put under investigation for the circumstances of her death but he hadn't known he was the UnSub when he sent her alone; he'd just been someone they thought was a bit off. Even if he had been jealous of her he'd never have intentionally sent her to take down an UnSub by herself.

He'd tried to hide his tears from his son but in the middle of the night he would find himself racked with sobs. He had considered her a valuable asset to the team even if he hadn't been able to keep that green monster from rearing it's ugly head and it was all his fault she'd been killed. He'd even liked her afterwards just hated seeing her with Spencer as it reminded him of what he couldn't have. Jack would climb in bed with him and snuggle up to him hoping he was trying to take some of the hurt from his dad. He'd just told him that an agent of his had died.

He'd just cuddled him close and told him it wasn't his fault and Aaron so badly wanted to believe him but he'd known his mistake. He'd also told him he missed Uncle Spencer too and hoped he'd come back soon as he could see he was the only one that made him truly happy. He'd answered he made him happy but Jack had answered he was happier when Uncle Spencer had been around.

The question Jack had asked him next had taken him completely out of blue did he love Uncle Spencer. When he'd answered what if he did Jack had hugged him and told him that he didn't mind having two dads as long as his dad was happy. He'd brushed his tears away and added that's all he wanted his dad to be happy as happy as he was when Uncle Spencer spent time with them.

He changed into the same suit and tie combination he'd worn at Strauss' funeral and placed his sunglasses on hiding his eyes. He couldn't let anyone see the evidence of his tears or lack of sleep. He had to be the strong leader in control that they'd come to know not this wreck.

Jack came up to him and hugged him so he hugged him back trying not to crease his suit. Once again his suit felt like armour protecting him from breaking down again.

"Dad, it's going to be alright. Uncle Dave will be there too..." Jack said. He then added furrowing his brow, "Remember it isn't your fault she's gone. Just like it isn't your fault mum's gone too. It's the bad guy's."

He nodded trying to bite the tears. "Thanks buddy," he answered not believing it himself.

He then left for the funeral. He hardly knew what happened in the funeral apart from the guns but then they were shot at every political funeral. He was too lost in his thoughts about how all this wouldn't be unfolding if he'd only sent Morgan or Dave with him to scope the house and get the information they needed. If onlys weren't going to help now she was dead. He couldn't even bring himself to go over to her parents.

Dave got himself and Aaron into the car heading to the wake and quietly said, "You need to speak with Spencer. You need to tell him for once and all how you feel."

"Dave, I can't. Not here. Not after all this," he answered staring out of the window.

"Aaron, just because you're wearing shades doesn't hide from me you've been crying and not been sleeping well. You need to tell him before it eats you inside even further," he replied.

He didn't respond he just kept looking out of the window. If he did tell him what good would come of it. It wasn't like Spencer loved him back. He'd loved Melanie Dax not him. After all that's what had caused all this jealousy. How close they were and how he'd felt replaced?

He tried to get through the wake with his team but half an hour later he couldn't take it so he stepped outside for a breath of fresh air. He just wouldn't break down here no matter how much it hurt to see Spencer now they'd been spending less and less time together. Oh how he missed him. He knew he shouldn't be thinking about him here but he just couldn't stop himself.

He heard footsteps but didn't look up to see who it was. He didn't look up until he heard Spencer say, "It wasn't your fault."

He looked up to see the very man he had just been thinking about. "If I'd just sent Morgan or Rossi as back up with her she wouldn't be dead and I could have kept control of my jealousy," he answered looking down. He couldn't bring himself to look into the eyes he adored.

"We didn't know he was the UnSub when she left. It was never your fault..."

"But if..."

"No more what ifs. Aaron, we can't live in the what ifs. They'll only destroy us." He nodded then Spencer realised what he'd admitted. "Jealous? Jealous of what?"

He looked away knowing it was time. It was time he finally confessed the truth. It was time he confessed his feelings. "Melanie," he answered taking his sunglasses off. He couldn't hide from him any longer. He had to see what his feelings had been doing to him. "More specifically the time you've been spending with her."

Spencer couldn't believe his eyes when he saw Aaron's. They were all red and puffy from crying and there were bags under his eyes. He couldn't have been crying could he? It looked like he'd been crying for nights considering the bags under his eyes but he'd never known him to cry except for the day Haley died. He couldn't, could he? Yet the evidence was right there in his eyes.

"Oh Aaron, I never knew," he answered gently.

"Neither did I until I lost you," he replied looking down. "I didn't realise how much you'd come to mean to me..." He brought his lips close to Spencer's. "I love you, Spencer. I don't know when I fell but I have and I've fallen hard. I can't stop thinking about you and seeing you with Melanie was killing me."

Before he could get another word out Spencer placed his lips on his and kissed him with as much passion as he could. He'd just heard the words he'd been longing to hear but he'd never wanted to hurt the man he loved. He'd never hunted out Melanie's friendship to hurt him. He just hadn't known how to cope with his own feelings and he hadn't believed until now Aaron had reciprocated them.


	3. Relationship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Spencer get together

Relationship

JJ couldn't see Spencer anywhere and had known he'd been greatly affected by the death of their new agent. She hadn't really met her apart from a couple of times out of work. They'd seemed really close together but she knew Spencer wasn't interested though he'd never say why.

"Has anyone seen Spence?" she asked worried about to step outside and look for him.

Dave put his hand on her arm and answered, "He's with Aaron. We should probably leave them alone."

Morgan nodded and added, "Hopefully they'll sort out Aaron's shit. What's been going on with him lately? If I didn't know better I'd say he was jealous."

"Who says he wasn't?" Dave asked with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. Morgan looked like a deer caught in the headlights while Garcia squealed clapping her hands.

"Bossman and baby genius! How adorable! Please tell me it's so," she squealed.

"I'd hold on the wedding plans, Garcia. Only they can say if it's so but by God I hope so," Dave smiled back.

Aaron pulled away from Spencer's lips and opened his eyes to look at him confused. Had he really just been kissing the man of his dreams or had it been just that; another dream? He looked to see Spencer's lips a little swollen from the kiss they'd just shared and his heart sung but he'd believed he was seeing Melanie.

"Melanie?" he asked confused. Did Spencer really love him back or had he felt obliged to kiss him after he'd laid his feelings down in front of him? He didn't often let his fences down and show the man that was underneath the armour. The man who had been only hurt by love before. First his father's abuse then Haley's cheating and their divorce.

He was about to turn away biting back the hurt and tears when Spencer placed his hand on his arm and answered, "Was just my best friend..." Aaron looked back at him badly wanting to believe him. "She knew she could never be mine because my heart belonged to someone else..." Aaron looked down waiting for the other shoe to drop but instead he felt Spencer lift his chin so he could look into his beautiful, dark eyes. "You Aaron..."

"You never said anything," he answered vulnerably.

"I never knew how and I didn't know you could swing this way. I thought all I was ever going to be was a close friend and being so close to you never being able to tell you how I felt was killing me."

"You could have told me."

"I know now," he answered looking down linking fingers with Aaron's. "I didn't want to make it uncomfortable. I never dreamed in a million ways you could like boys too."

"I was always taught to hide it but no more. I love you, Spencer, and I want to be yours. Will you be mine?"

"Aaron, you know there is only one answer I can give you. I'm yours as long as you want me, honey," he answered stroking his finger down his soft cheek.

"For life," Aaron answered placing Spencer's hand on his heart. He then cupped Spencer's chin with his other hand and brought his lips up to meet his. Spencer then joined in while placing his other hand on the back of Aaron's head.

As they kissed they forgot where they were and shut everything out just focussing on the love in each other for the other. They just felt so lifted to have finally admitted their feelings to each other and felt so much stronger from it. They could move on together and knew they both had a happier future together. They'd brought each other back from the dark.

Finally they pulled away leaving each other wanting more but they knew they couldn't do that here. Spencer wanted to just take him home and take him to bed. He then looked up into his lover's eyes and decided even though they badly wanted it it could wait. His man desperately needed some sleep.

"Let's put you to bed. You look like you could do with some sleep," he said gently.

He nodded too tired to fight him on it. "Will you stay with me? My brain hasn't processed yet whether this is really happening or just another dream of mine."

"Aaron, I'm not going anywhere and believe me this is real," he replied placing his hand on his cheek making him look into his eyes.

He nodded feeling his heart racing. He then looked back in to see the team watching them intently so he replied, "Do you mind us leaving via the back? I'm not ready for our relationship to be the subject of gossip and I don't want them seeing me like this."

"Anything you want," he answered gently. He then remembered it wasn't just the team representing the FBI here; the director was already here and he didn't feel ready to come out to him he was seeing the boss. "Same here."

He took his hand and they escaped through the back gate while the team smiled on. It looked like things were finally looking up. They just had the private investigation into the circumstances of Dax's death to go through but they would all defend Aaron to the ends of the earth.


	4. Club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team work a case

Club

It had been two months now since Dax's death. They'd gone through that private investigation and come out of it unscathed much to Aaron's relief. The team had all stood up for him and declared that his actions hadn't been clouded by any emotion but the determination of getting Martin Ryan and he'd never have sent an agent in alone if he'd believed he was the UnSub to begin with.

Spencer had attempted to talk away all of Aaron's guilt though a little of it remained. He knew it always would. After all he still felt guilty over Haley's death and that had also been out of his hands. It would just be another part of him. They were just glad he hadn't let the guilt consume him.

They were still going strong but hadn't come out to the team or the FBI yet that they were seeing each other. They just weren't ready as it felt like early days still to them. Also they wanted to share it just between them and Jack. He'd always have a say in his dad's relationships as they affected him too.

They were in San Francisco working on their latest case when they believed they knew who their UnSub was. This case had affected Aaron and Spencer though thankfully they hadn't found themselves in the situation of the ones left yet. Their guy was frequenting gay clubs and killing any young gay men he suspected of cheating on their boyfriends.

They believed they had their man's identity. John Henderson had been left at the altar by his boyfriend two months ago just before all the killings had started. There had been a lot of rage shown in the killings so they knew it had been personal. They'd been stabbed repeatedly in the stomach, face and chest whilst there were bruises from repeated beatings. He also showed an abusive past as well having beaten his partner a couple of times after he'd been accused of cheating. They'd tried to save his ex after he'd come forward and voiced his suspicions but he'd been killed that very day leaving the station.

They were positive he'd be out scouting for potential victims tonight especially as there was a big event going on at Badlands, one of the most popular gay clubs in town. They got a team together and headed down there ready to arrest him.

Aaron nodded at Spencer to pop inside and scan the bar to see if they could find their killer. He came back out and looked at his boss concerned.

"He's in the middle of a crowd of people," he said knowing this would make it harder for them to just walk in and arrest him.

He nodded back at him and they both immediately took off their vests but kept their guns hidden. They were the only gay couple working this case who knew how to read behaviour and what to look out for. They would go undercover as a normal gay couple and try and lure John out.

He knew the rest of the team would keep their eyes on them and make sure nothing bad happened. He would do his best to defend Spencer and not let anything happen to him. Even if he had to do the unthinkable.

As they went in he squeezed his hand and whispered, "Trust me and follow my lead. Tonight we're just any odd gay couple just enjoying a night out."

Spencer nodded and followed him into the club. They went into the centre of the club and Aaron wrapped his arm around him. He got them two beers knowing they had to look the part of just any odd couple out for a night on the tiles. One beer wouldn't hurt either of them. Maybe it would even give him Dutch courage for what he had to do even if he desperately didn't want to.

He knew it was time. If not him then another innocent victim would be killed tonight. Yes they weren't exactly innocent if they were caught cheating but they hadn't deserved to die the way they had.

He squeezed his lover's hand and kissed him on the lips. He then kissed his hair and smiled at him. Spencer smiled up at Aaron's public affection. He hardly ever kissed him in public since they got together. They didn't even frequent gay bars back home.

"I'll be right back," Aaron said gently as he walked away. Spencer followed him with his eyes swallowing a lump in his throat. He felt a little nervous being left alone in a club where there was a serial killer loose and he was here. He just hoped his lover knew what he was doing.

Aaron approached the man who had been eyeing him ever since he'd arrived at the bar. He was as good as any to do what he had to do no matter how badly he didn't want to. He just hoped the other guy was willing.

"Hey handsome," the other man drawled in a thick San Franciscan accent. "Can I get you a beer?"

"I'd love one," he answered seductively. Oh god this wasn't him but he knew he had to draw out John Henderson and this was the only way. If not him it would be another body found tomorrow morning.

He asked the bar tender for another beer and handed it to Aaron who knocked it back in one. He needed another beer to give him the courage to do what he had to do to save all those other potential victims. He was ready willing to sacrifice himself but this time he was also risking his relationship and that was the last thing he wanted. He loved Spencer with everything in him and he didn't want to hurt him.

Alright here it goes Aaron suck it up and think about all those people you'll be saving! He looked down at the man who had just given him the beer and he placed his hand on his right cheek. The other man looked up at him and placed his hand on the back of Aaron's head. They brought their lips together and kissed each other gently on the lips.

Every fibre in him screamed at him to stop and think of Spencer but he tried to shake them off. Thinking of the man who actually owned his heart would make him lose his courage and he had to do this to save any more men from being killed.


	5. Outcome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron fights with the UnSub

Outcome

Suddenly he felt someone pull him away from this stranger and a right hook across his face. Damn that hurt but he looked in front of him to see the very man he'd been luring into the arms of the law. He felt too dazed to defend himself right then but could feel the guns touching his body.

He let him drag him out of the back door of the club while he tried to reorientate himself. He was firm in the belief his team would be there to back him up if it went wrong. Surely they'd know he hadn't just cheated on Spencer because he wanted to but because he'd had to.

While he tried to get his thinking straight again he suddenly felt something sharp penetrate his stomach. He looked up to see the bloodied knife that had just made contact with his stomach. He felt his gun still in it's holster and pulled it out trying to ignore the pain coming from his stomach.

He also pulled out his badge from his pocket and said "Stop! FBI!"

"You cheated on your boyfriend," John shouted off-guard. He really hadn't expected this guy to turn out to be a Fed. He knew they were in town but he never thought they'd find him.

"How else do you think we were going to catch you?" he answered faltering a little but still looking down his gun at him. "Just because I kissed another man doesn't mean I enjoyed it."

"Who's we? I don't see anyone else about, man," he answered feeling like he had the upper hand again.

Aaron looked around himself to see for the first time in his life his team hadn't followed to back him up. That really stung but he wouldn't let Henderson see that. How could they after over ten years of working together think he'd willingly cheat on Spencer?

"I can take you down on my own," he growled.

"How? You can't even stand straight, man," Henderson shouted stabbing him in his arm.

"He's not on his own," he heard Dave shout shooting his gun just as Henderson was about to stab him again. He'd never been happier to hear Dave's voice than at this moment when he felt all alone but determined to see justice through.

He looked up through the pain to see Henderson had fallen to the floor. "Is he?" he asked without turning to his best friend.

Dave got down and checked his pulse then nodded back at his best friend. "He's dead," he answered. He then got back up and added, "and you need to see a medic."

"I'm fine," Aaron answered looking down. He didn't want to see the paramedic. He wanted to see Spencer. He wanted to apologise to him and make him understand he'd never willingly cheat on him. He was the love of his life but he'd had to do what he had to to catch the killer.

"You just got stabbed in the arm and stomach. You need to see a medic," Dave answered.

"I need Spencer."

"You'll see Spencer as soon as you're seen to."

He glared at him but he knew he was losing a losing battle. He could hardly walk and he needed his best friend's help. After all he was the only one who had come to his aid. He knew Morgan was back at the station but JJ and Spencer could have come as well.

He knew Spencer was fragile and he hoped to God he hadn't thought he'd cheated willingly. He'd done it to get their man. Yet if he'd been in Spencer's shoes and seen him kiss another man without a word of warning it would kill him. He had to speak with him.

He also knew JJ was Spencer's best friend. She'd defend Spencer to the ends of the earth and always see his side of the story. She would always fight for him too.

Dave led him to the doctor and they bandaged up his stomach and arm telling him he would need rest but other than that he was fine. He was relieved but he still needed to see his boyfriend.

He saw Spencer leave the club, take one look at him and turned to walk away. He got up and was about to run after him when Dave placed his hand on his arm stopping him.

Aaron looked at him panicked and pained. He felt like his world was falling apart and Dave was stopping him from going after the man he loved. Stopping him from explaining he'd never meant to hurt him he was doing his job. Preventing him from declaring he'd never intentionally hurt him.

"Dave, I need to..." he said desperately.

"Leave him, Aaron. He'll come round in his own time. He'd just hurt right now by your actions but in time he'll see you had to to make sure there wasn't another body," he answered. "That you would never willingly cheat on him."

"I love him, Dave," he answered with tears in his eyes.

"I know and trust me everything will sort itself out in time. You won't lose him, Aaron."

"I do I do trust you. You know I do."

Suddenly JJ came up to him sitting on the steps of the ambulance and slapped him across his face. He glared up at her rubbing his cheek. What did she think she was doing?

"What did you think you were doing? Hasn't he been hurt enough? Don't his feelings matter to you? God, what's wrong with you?" she shouted.

"Of course his feelings matter to me; I love him! Do you really think I intentionally wanted to hurt him? I was doing my job! If it wasn't me we were going to have another body in the morning. I never wanted to hurt him I just wanted to make sure all those victims found justice," he answered looking up at her then returning his gaze to his floor.

"Oh Aaron," she answered seeing the hurt and pain in his eyes.

"I've lost him, haven't I?"

She placed her hand on his shoulder making him look up at her. "Aaron, you could never lose him. He just needs time to process the pain of what happened but he will come back to you. He loves you."

He nodded.


	6. Running Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer runs away

Running Away

The flight home had been a long, silent one. Spencer had sat the other end of the plane to Aaron never taking his eyes off the book in his hands though he wasn't really reading it. He couldn't stop thinking about the moment he'd looked over the bar to see his boyfriend kissing another man. He knew he'd been doing his job but he couldn't shake off the pain. He just couldn't get the image out of his head.

Aaron tried to bite away his own pain and gazed out of the window just wishing they'd land soon so he could hold his son in his arms close. At least that was one person who'd never leave him. He just wished Spencer would listen to him but he could see that he just wouldn't. JJ and Dave had both told him he had to wait for him to come to him but how long would that be? He was so scared he was losing him.

Over the next few days Spencer still wouldn't let him talk to him though they carried on their work like nothing had happened. He'd tried calling him but it always went to voicemail. Once he'd got through but Spencer had hung up as soon as he'd heard his voice. Damn nothing had ever hurt as much as this! He was crying himself to sleep again over being shut out of his boyfriend's world.

One day a request for a week off came across his desk from Spencer. As he saw it he tried to bite back the tears and anger boiling inside of him. He was just going to take off without letting him talk to him and resolve their issues. He ripped it up and emailed him 'Not until we talk'.

He answered 'I'm sorry I can't. Not yet.' Aaron tried to bite down the anger and replied 'You can't run from your problems. I have feelings too.'

'What about mine?'

Aaron growled and closed the lid of his laptop until he realised he had actually got work to do. He closed his eyes and pinched his nose taking a deep breath in then reopened them and got back to work.

The next day he kicked his desk having heard he wasn't coming in and wasn't even in Washington currently. Cruz had allowed him the time off effectively. Apparently Spencer had told him Aaron had permitted it as well.

He looked out of his window and slammed his hands against his window. He wanted to scream so badly. They'd told him to wait for him to go to him but he was closing him out. He wouldn't let him talk to him and resolve their problems; he'd just run off without facing their issues.

"Stop kicking and slamming the furniture and go after him," he heard Dave say.

He turned to him and answered looking up at him desperately, "I don't know where he's gone."

"Yes you do," Dave replied. Aaron looked up at him confused. "Now think Aaron where does he always go?"

Suddenly it hit him. Of course Las Vegas! When he was in emotional turmoil he always went home to his mother. But what about the team? He couldn't just up and leave them.

"Don't worry about the team. I'll hold the fort. Just go get your man," Dave said firmly.

He nodded and ran out of the office after gathering his stuff together. If Spencer wouldn't come to him he'd go to him and try until he was blue in the face to get him to talk to him. Their love was worth fighting for and he wouldn't let his boyfriend throw it all away just because of one god damn UnSub. He just couldn't live this half life any more.


	7. Car

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron gets knocked out

Car

When he finally arrived in Las Vegas airport he took out his phone. He wasn't going to call Spencer but he was going to find out how to get to the sanatorium his mother was cared for in. If he told him he was here he feared he'd only go run off again.

As he typed into his phone he suddenly felt like someone was watching him. He looked around him and just saw crowds of fellow passengers just going about their own business so tried to shake it off. He was just imagining things he was sure of it. This job could make you paranoid if you let it.

He carried on looking for the directions to the sanatorium and when he found them he went over to the car rental place. He'd rather rent a car than take a taxi. He needed time alone to think about what he was actually going to say to Spencer what he was actually going to do when he saw him. He didn't need the inane chitchat of the taxi driver.

He still had the feeling someone was watching him but he told himself it was nothing. Sheer paranoia that was all. He was just beginning to get nervous about what he'd come out here to do and he was letting paranoia take over.

He signed the papers for the car to be released and was given the keys. He went out to take the car from the valet. Once the car came round he took the keys and got in but that's when the trouble all began.

He heard someone get in behind him and looked in the rear mirror to see a shifty man climb into the back seat. He saw him draw out a gun and the next thing he knew it was at his temple.

"Drive," the man ordered.

Not today buddy he thought turning round to face him. You're picking on the wrong man. He stared him in the eye and firmly said, "No. Get out of my car!"

"I'll shoot," the other man answered digging the gun further into Aaron's head breaking the skin.

Aaron, to the other man's astonishment, quickly knocked the gun out of his hand though it did still go off and a bullet grazed his forehead and went through the window opposite him. In his rage he barely noticed it.

What he did notice though was the puff of gas that went off in his face. Unfortunately this time there wasn't any water nearby to knock off the effects of this gas. He slumped back over the wheel feeling incredibly dizzy and felt himself being pushed over to the passengers seat while this other man took over the wheel.

He wanted to scream and fight but the darkness overtook him. He looked up trying to grab the wheel and take control of the car back off him but he pushed him back over with one push of his finger.

"Sleep, sleeping beauty. We'll arrive there soon," he said smiling as he saw Aaron's eyes close and he finally succumb to the gas.


	8. Alert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer alerts Rossi Aaron's missing

Alert

He'd just finished talking to his mother when he went outside to use his phone. She was right as always. He had to talk to him. He couldn't run from his problems he had to face them.

He'd been an idiot and he had to apologise. He closed his eyes and reopened them preparing to dial. He'd been so scared of getting hurt again he hadn't allowed himself to completely trust this relationship. He'd been waiting for the shoe to drop yet he'd been the one that dropped it.

Aaron wouldn't cheat! He wasn't that kind of man. He'd always been a gentleman to his girlfriends so of course he'd be a gentleman to him too. Yes it had cut like a knife when he saw him kissing another man but if he'd really watched closely he'd have seen of course Aaron didn't really want to it had just been the only way. The only way to have lured out their UnSub and prevented another body being found the next morning. He'd just been doing his god-damn job.

He went to dial the number cursing himself inside. He'd been such a bloody idiot! If only he'd spoken to Aaron about how it had hurt. If only he'd realised of course it was only for the job and it hadn't meant anything else. Instead he'd been a stupid child and closed him out then running away from him. He just hoped to God he hadn't done so much damage Aaron had closed the door on them.

He tried all three numbers but got no answers. He'd tried his work phone, his home phone and his mobile phone but Aaron hadn't answered any of them. Where was he? Why wasn't he answering? Aaron answered everybody no matter how badly you'd treated him. He'd seen that all those years ago when he'd pick up for Haley shortly after she'd just upped and left him.

Something was wrong. He could feel it in the pit of his stomach. Something just wasn't right. This wasn't like him. Fear started to enter his system as he freaked out about what might have happened.

He called Dave immediately. If anything had happened surely he'd know; he was his best friend. He knew for a fact Dave was still his emergency contact along with Jessica and he didn't want to worry her just know until there was something concrete.

"Rossi," Dave answered.

"Dave, have you any idea where Aaron is? I've tried his work phone, his home phone and his mobile. He hasn't answered any of them," he answered worried.

"I thought he was with you," he replied confused.

"Why would he be with me?"

"He ran to Las Vegas to see you this morning..."

He closed his eyes wanting to will the tears back. Aaron still loved him, there was no other reason he'd have run to Las Vegas when he'd found him gone than that, but now he was missing. Now he was missing and no-one had known what had happened to him. Was he in Las Vegas or Washington? Had his plane gone down?

His chest clenched. He couldn't lose him; he just couldn't. Life was nothing without him. He had to raise the alert. Aaron was missing and they needed to find him.

"I haven't seen him," he answered trying to swallow the lump in his throat. "He didn't answer his phone, Dave. You know that's not normal for him. He always answers his phone no matter who."

"Spencer, we'll find him."

He nodded then remembered Dave couldn't see him so he answered, "I know I'm just so scared. I've been such an idiot and I need to apologise to him. I broke his heart."

"Spencer, you'll get the chance to apologise. He loves you and knows you love him. Now listen to me. You have to stay strong for him. We'll search for him here but can you find out if he actually landed in Las Vegas?"

"Of course," he replied.

"We will find him Spencer and you're not alone."

"I know and thank you."

He hung up knowing he had to go about trying to find out if it was this end Aaron had gone missing on. He saw his mother's doctor looking at him concerned.

"Is everything alright, Spencer?" he asked. He'd known him for so long he felt like another father to him.

"My partner's missing. We had a huge fight and I took off without letting him speak to me. His best friend just told me he came after me but I haven't seen him and he's not answering his phone. I know he's missing because it's just not like him not to answer his phone especially in our line of work."

He looked at him concerned and a little shaken but answered, "I'm sure he's alright. I'm sure he'll be fine."

"Doctor, what aren't you telling me?" he asked worried.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and placed his hand on the young agent's shoulders. "One of our more dangerous patients escaped last week and there have been rumours of kidnaps taking place at the airport," he said gently.

Before he could get out another word Spencer turned on his heels and ran towards the airport shouting, "Don't tell my mother."

"I hope you find him, Spencer, I hope you find him," he muttered then went back to work.


	9. Batman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron meets one of his kidnapper's personalities

Batman

He came to in a dark room somewhere in the desert. He could feel the heat radiating through the open entrance some distance in front of him. He opened his eyes and looked ahead of him only to squint as the sun shone right into them. Through his squinted eyes he could see he was somewhere in the middle of the Nevada desert. Was he even still in Las Vegas?

He looked around him and saw the room he was in was more like a wooden shack with tools hanging on the walls. He could also see there was blood on the walls. The smell almost turned his stomach as he wondered who had him and why? Did they even know who he was or had he just been a victim of being in the wrong place at the right time?

He felt binds on his wrists and ankles and across his stomach. He could also feel some sort of table underneath him and splinters pricking his ankles and wrists. He tried to pull his wrists out of the ropes but they just tightened and rubbed against his skin while he tried to hold back the hiss of pain.

He had to get out of here and to Spencer. He had to tell Spencer how much he meant to him. He had to get back to his son too. Would his team even know he was missing? Only Dave had known he'd run to Las Vegas. He hadn't even called to tell his son he was coming to Las Vegas to get daddy Spencer back.

He heard someone laughing right beside him. He looked beside him to see a man in clown make-up, green hair and a purple suit. Jesus, when did he get here? He hadn't...Wait there was no floor to this room was there? Sand would explain why he hadn't heard him.

"Well hello there , my caped crusader. I see your mask is finally off," he laughed.

Aaron's brow furrowed. What the hell was he talking about? He wasn't Batman; he wasn't some fictional superhero. He was Agent Aaron Hotchner, Unit Chief of the BAU. Had this man blurred the line of reality and fiction? He clearly modelled himself on The Joker in his dress sense.

Could he maybe play into this man's delusion and free himself?

"I think you've got me mistaken. I'm not the Caped Crusader. My name's Aaron Hotchner. I work for the FBI. I hunt serial killers," he answered.

He then looked at him with fire in his eyes and replied, "You can't fool me! I know you're Batman. I found you in your Bat-mobile."

If this man was looking for an Oscar he was bound to win one. This man clearly believed he'd caught Batman and had the Dark Knight on his table no matter what Aaron said. Dear god, he'd been kidnapped and was being held hostage by a madman.

He gulped as he found himself in a situation he'd never found himself in before. This man was clearly in another world and he found himself at his mercy unless he was able to free himself from these shackles. Also as the ground was sand he could never hear when he was coming up to him.

The man took out a pair of scissors and approached Aaron. He ripped open his suit shirt and then cut up the leg of his suit trousers taking them off until he lay there in just his boxers. He felt the sun rays hit his bare legs and chest as he lay there almost naked at the hands of his insane captor.

He felt him run his hands over his scarred abdomen and smile, "Oh, we're going to have so much fun, my dear, Dark Knight."

Aaron tried to recoil from his touch but it only made the clown smile more. He then added, "I'll be back soon, Batman."

He then left laughing while Aaron felt like he'd stepped into some parallel world where apparently he was Batman. He'd never been called Batman before; only Captain America.

He tried to open his eyes to see if this was just a nightmare and not reality. Unfortunately every time he opened his eyes he found himself back in the same place strapped to this table.


	10. Personalities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron meets more of Charlie's personalities

Personalities

He woke up some time later still in the dark room and the sun was still beating down on his almost naked body. He was so hot and his throat felt so parched. He desperately needed water if he was going to be strong enough to fight back.

He felt someone brush against his arm and he looked weakly to his side to see a young man with green hair but no clown make-up on this time. He looked at him pityingly. He knew this was the same man that had visited him earlier but it seemed like another person had taken over. Was he schizophrenic or have multiple personality disorder?

"I see Joker's been," the man said gently. "I'm sorry he took your clothes. You must be hot."

"Who are you then?" he answered confused.

"Charlie Huxxam. Why do we look alike?" Aaron weighed up his options on the answer he could give. If he told him yes would it fracture his personality and bring back Joker or would it horrify this new personality. At the moment he was safe as this personality wasn't torturing him so he decided to go with the safe option and shook his head.

"Good good," he answered quietly. He passed him a glass of water and raised his head. "Drink." Aaron looked unsure. "It isn't poisoned if that's what's worrying you. You need to keep your strength."

He nodded and drank. He was currently trying to take care of him so he decided to take the plunge and trust him. He wouldn't poison him when he was trying to take care of had to admit it felt good as the water passed down his throat into his system. He then fed him bread which he took gladly. Boy it felt good satisfying his starving stomach. He hadn't eaten since breakfast and he had no idea how long he'd been here.

Finally Charlie brought out a syringe and some dilaudid. Aaron's eyes widened as he saw it. No way was he going to take drugs. His boyfriend had had a drug addiction and he didn't want to have one himself. This was the very drug he'd been addicted to. He'd rather take the pain than let his boyfriend and son lose him to drugs.

"No," he answered struggling to get away. "I won't take drugs."

Charlie took hold of his arm placing the dilaudid into the syringe. "It wont hurt and will take all the pain away," he answered vulnerably.

"I'd rather feel the pain than take drugs," he replied trying to pull his arm away but the ties wouldn't allow him.

He suddenly felt the needle go in sharply and the drug inserted into his veins. He tried to will it out of his system but he slowly became light headed. Oh god he wished he was stronger than this! He couldn't let the dilaudid overcome him. He just couldn't lose his sense of what was happening around it felt so good. No Aaron you're stronger than this. You can't let the dilaudid win. It felt so good though as his eyes finally closed.

"Yes sleep Bond sleep," the man whose name was apparently Charlie said stroking Aaron's dark hair. He smiled at the tools on the wall and grabbed the dagger. He stroked the hair on Aaron's legs then smiled at the traced the blade up Aaron's right leg and then stabbed it amongst the scars he already had from Foyet. The sharp pain caused Aaron to wake up fully. He looked up to see this wasn't the same man who'd just given him the dilaudid. Yes it was the same person but this wasn't the same personality.

"Who are you?" he asked firmly.

"Why don't you recognise me, Bond?" he answered in a deeper voice than Charlie's.

What the hell! One moment he's meant to be Batman now he's meant to be Bond. He never knew what this man expected of him or what to give him. It was hard enough trying to profile one person in these conditions but three. He wasn't even sure how many other personalities would crawl out of the woodwork.

"Oh don't try and feign pain James! I know that coward gave you dilaudid," he said annoyed.

"I'm not James Bond," Aaron answered.

He heard the laughter bubbling underneath and heard him laugh, "No, you're the Batman." He brought his face very close to his and pulled his hands apart laughing, "You're the Batman."

He then felt him walk away and sunk back into the table. Oh god what nightmare was he in now? Who was he going to meet next? A twisted Mad Hatter? After all he felt like he'd fallen down the rabbit hole.


	11. End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron believes the end has come

End

Charlie had come back about five minutes later to deal with the wounds and feed him some more. He also gave him some more water to cool him down. He was beginning to feel connected to Charlie and worry about him.

What had happened to him to make him fracture into those personalities? Charlie was so vulnerable and caring he just wanted to protect him and comfort him. He wasn't aware he'd been the one doing these things to him.

Though he struggled again Charlie also gave him another dose of dilaudid. Soon the effect of the drug overtook him again and he even smiled at Charlie as he drifted off again to a painless sleep. That was another thing. He knew Charlie was only giving him the drug to make things better and take the pain away. He believed he was just taking care of him again.

The sunlight flooded in the next morning and woke him up. Once again he felt the prickling pain of his leg and the dull ache in his stomach from the stab wound. He could also feel his muscles had stiffened from having been strapped to this table for hours.

He could feel someone else's presence so he asked quietly, "Charlie?"

"Yes it's me," he answered gently appearing by his side and offering the usual water and food.

"Why don't you free me? I could eat and drink easier that way," he replied.

"No, they'll get me and punish me. They'll know I did it."

"I can get you help. I can save you."

"No, no, they'll get me. They never help," he shouted inserting the dilaudid once again into Aaron's system.

Once again Aaron succumbed to the drug and closed his eyes.

Some time later he woke up to the sound of cackling to see the Joker again in full clown make-up. He tried to stiffen but the dilaudid was still high in his system. He wanted to fight back but the drug had weakened him but it took all the pain and horror away.

"Are you ready for the end?" he laughed.

The end? Had it finally come? Was he really going to die? He felt so alone. He knew he had a son and a boyfriend but he felt so alone without them. He knew they hadn't truly left him but they were nowhere near him and now he wouldn't get to say goodbye and tell them how much he loved them.

He untied his wrists and ankles then got him onto his feet though Aaron felt unsteady. The sand wasn't helping at all as he collapsed against the table he'd just been untied from. He looked up at the Joker to see him glare at him.

"This won't do any good," he shouted throwing him a shovel. When he saw Aaron didn't respond except look at him glazed he picked him up over his shoulder laughing. "The Batman can't help himself now; goodie."


	12. Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron's rescued

Rescue

They'd found the GPS led to this wooden shack in the desert so they raced towards it hoping to God they'd find Aaron alive. Spencer played with his hands trying to keep his worry in check while JJ sat next to him trying to calm him down.

"Spence, we'll save him," she assured.

"I know but what state will he be in? What's Charlie done to him?" he answered vulnerably.

They suddenly saw the wooden shack and pulled up alongside. They got out the SUV along with their weapons as she said, "Well, we're about to find out but one thing I know for sure is you'll help him through it."

He nodded. He knew he'd do his damn hardest to help his lover over what ever he'd gone through in the last 24 hours. He couldn't lose him; he just couldn't. It was all his fault he'd been taken in the first place. If he hadn't run off to Las Vegas without talking to him he wouldn't have followed him and got kidnapped in the first place.

They searched the shack with their guns drawn. They almost bulked when they saw the blood and tools on the wall but they couldn't find the two men they were looking for. Spencer hoped to God none of these tools had been used on his boyfriend. He still was afraid what state he'd find him in.

"He's not in the shack," they radioed the rest of the team.

"I think I may have spotted something about two miles to the right of the shack," Kate replied.

"How bad?"

"We don't know yet but you'd better come."

"On our way."

They headed towards the direction Kate had told them. They saw a man in a purple suit with green hair with his back turned to them using a shovel. They couldn't see Aaron with him until they saw a body down beside him in the sand. Oh god, was that Aaron in the ground?

They slowly stepped closer and heard the man laughing as he kept dumping the sand over the body. Their chests closed as they recognised the victim's face as Aaron's. It was clear he was planning to bury him in the sand.

To their relief they could see his chest heaving up and down but as they saw the sand go down on his face they knew they had to act fast. If they didn't their friend and boss would be buried alive in that sand.

"Freeze," Rossi ordered raising his gun at the madman.

"Come to see me bury the Batman," he cackled back at him throwing another load of sand over Aaron's face.

"He's not Batman, Joker," Spencer answered trying to bite back the nervousness he felt. "His name's Aaron Hotchner. He has a family back in Virginia. He has a son that needs him and a partner that loves him. You don't want to take them from him, do you?"

"He's the Batman," he shouted throwing more sand in Aaron's face.

Morgan glared at this man. He was clearly insane and he'd had enough. They clearly couldn't get through to him that Aaron wasn't Batman and he was continuing to bury their boss alive.

He put his finger on the trigger and let go. He watched as the bullet hit his chest and a patch of purple turned into a patch of red as he fell onto the sand behind him.

Suddenly almost like out of a trance Aaron got up wincing and trying to get the sand off him shaking his head. He slowly got onto his feet and saw his team around him. He felt tears in his eyes as he saw his lover try and help him back up.

He hugged him so glad he was going to live to see another day with him. All the problems they'd had seemed so far away now; like a distant memory. He just wanted to move on and spend the rest of his life with Spencer and Jack. They were his family.

He then remembered Charlie and gingerly went over to the young man. He knew his leg had been cut but thanks to the dilaudid he could hardly feel it. He saw through the young man's eyes he was back to Charlie even though he was still wearing the Joker make-up though some of it had sweated off.

"Do you think I'll see my mother again?" he whispered.

"I'm sure of it," he answered patting his shoulder.

He smiled nodding as he took his last breath from the gunshot wound but Aaron's eyes had already moved away from the young man's face to his pocket. He picked up the bottle of dilaudid out of his pocket and curled his fingers tight round it. There was no way he was going to let go of this.


	13. Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron in hospital

Hospital

The paramedics came over to assess his injuries as he finally stumbled to the ground holding fast onto the bottle of dilaudid. They tried to take it off him but he just tightened his grasp around it. He just wouldn't let go of the bottle; he needed it. It was the only thing that took away the pain and horror of what he'd just been through.

Spencer watched with tears in his eyes as they placed him on the stretcher and into the ambulance. In there they cleaned up his leg and stomach then bandaged them. At the hospital they'd take a closer look to see if the sand hadn't got into his blood.

He got in beside him and they shut the doors of the ambulance beginning to drive off to the hospital. He saw the bottle held tightly in his boyfriend's grasp and recognised what it was immediately.

"Aaron, please give me the dilaudid. You don't need it," he said gently.

"I'm sorry, Spencer, I need it. It's the only thing that helps," he replied looking down guiltily. He knew he had an addiction but it had been the only thing that had helped take him away from the horror and pain of his time as a hostage. Now he was scared the pain would all come back.

"I once thought that too, Aaron, but believe me you don't. Please don't go down this road. It's the hardest thing to do to get over an addiction and Jack and I can't lose you. Trust me you don't want to carry on down this route. I'll help you over this and through everything else. I'm not going anywhere ever again. I'll never leave your side again. I love you," he answered kissing his hand.

Seeing the pain in his lover's eyes he uncurled his fingers. He just couldn't bear to see his boyfriend in pain and knowing he was the one causing it almost broke his heart again. "I'm sorry, darling, I'd never hurt you on purpose," he said quietly.

"I know," he answered taking the bottle and placing it in his pocket.

"I love you, too," he replied taking his hand.

"I know that as well," he smiled back. "I know it isn't going to be easy but I'm going to help you every step of the way."

"Thanks."

He patted his hand and smiled at him reassuringly.

A couple of hours later he was lying in his hospital bed all alone. Thankfully the sand hadn't done any damage inside his wounds; they'd just had to clean them out. They only wanted to keep him in for observation much to his annoyance. After all he just wanted to get back home to his son.

The team had come to see him for about half an hour just to check up on him that he was going to be alright. He brushed them off assuring them he'd be fine; it was just two flesh wounds no biggie he'd suffered worse.

Spencer had gone down the hall to get a drink and something to eat. He'd informed him he was staying the night and there was nowhere else he was going to be than by his side. He was glad he was but he also wanted time alone.

Especially as he felt the pain cross his stomach and come up his leg again. He smiled as he saw Spencer had accidentally left his jacket behind and the bottle peeking out of his pocket.

He found a syringe in the top drawer and getting up making sure no-one was around he took the bottle out. He took the bottle out and placed the liquid in the syringe. He made sure to screw the lid back on top and place it back in Spencer's pocket.

Making sure no-one was around still he injected the drug into his arm then threw the syringe back into the top drawer so no-one could see what he'd just done. "I'm sorry, Spencer, I'm just not strong enough," he whispered.

Hearing footsteps he panicked and climbed back under the sheets closing his eyes pretending to be asleep. He knew he was being a coward but he couldn't bear to see Spencer's disappointment. He knew he'd work it out as soon as he entered the room.

Spencer smiled when he saw his boyfriend was finally asleep but then his eyes got drawn to his pocket and the dilaudid he took off him earlier. He took it out and saw the liquid had decreased. He shook his head and sighed with tears in his eyes. He knew now the hold on Aaron was stronger than he'd originally feared but he'd do everything in his power to help him overcome it.


	14. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer confronts Aaron

Confrontation

Three months later they were sure he was still taking the dilaudid but they had no proof. He hadn't ever recovered his usual self after his run in with Charlie Huxxam. His physical injuries had healed almost within a week and he was back at work in two.

He'd changed though. It wasn't staring everyone in the face but they'd noticed little things about him that seemed off. He was a lot more irritable of late and secretive. On their last case he'd been incredibly short with the Sheriff prompting him to ask what had crawled up his arse and died. He'd also disappeared a lot of the time. They were all short of it but didn't know how about confronting him.

One day Jack turned to the couple and asked, "Dad, can we go to the circus? I want to see the clowns."

Suddenly he just turned round to him and answered sharply, "No," then took off leaving both his boyfriend and son stunned. This wasn't like him at all. He'd never said no to him before without giving him a reason.

Jack looked at Spencer hurt trying not to show the tears he felt bubbling under the surface. "Spencer, dad's not the same anymore. Have I done something wrong?" he asked.

Spencer tried to bite back the tears bubbling in his throat and wrapped his arms around the boy he loved almost like his own son. "No Jack, you've done nothing wrong. Dad just has an issue but we'll help him over it, won't we?" he answered.

He nodded. "I'll help him with anything."

"You're the best son anyone could ask for."He smiled up at him. "I promise when this is all over we'll go to the circus." He smiled even more. "Now I'm going to find your dad."

He went off and found he was outside in the garden pacing around. He then stopped and gazed into the sky. Seeing Spencer by the back door he turned away growling, "I have nothing to say."

"We're going to get to the bottom of this. We're going to kick this addiction for once and for all," he answered firmly.

"I don't have an addiction," he answered kicking his feet knowing how much that was a falsehood. He couldn't bring his eyes to look into the ones he loved so much knowing how much pain he was causing his family but he just couldn't kick off the dilaudid's hold on him no matter how hard he'd tried it was always calling out to him.

Spencer rolled his eyes annoyed and walked off to the bathroom. "Where are you going?" Aaron panicked chasing after him.

Spencer raided their bathroom cabinet until he found exactly what he was looking for at the back of their cupboard. He brought out the hidden bottle of dilaudid and Aaron's eyes opened wide in alarm. He then watched him open the bottle and pour it down the sink while he tried to stop him.

"What did you just do?" he freaked out.

"Saved you," he answered firmly. "I won't have you going down that road. I love you too much to see you destroy yourself and everything that matters to you. You might not thank me now but you will down the line."

He looked at him with tears stinging his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Spencer. Believe me I've tried to come off it but every time I try it calls out to me loud and I can't stop myself. I need help, please help me."

He wrapped his arms around the man he loved with everything in him and answered, "Aaron, you're not going to fight this alone. I'm going to be here every step of the way. I know how hard it is to battle the addiction. Dave's on his way to take you to rehab..." When he saw his lover's eyes open wide he added, "I know how hard it is and I believe this is the only way. It'll only be a couple of weeks and we'll cope. I'll be here when you come out so will Jack and the team. We've already agreed to keep it secret so the Bureau won't know..."

"What about Jack?" he answered worried.

"We'll take care of him, you know we will. You need this, honey. I just wish I'd accepted help when I was recovering from my addiction instead of trying to go it alone."

He nodded. "I'll go. I need the help." He then added looking up vulnerably, "You'll still be here when I come out?"

"Of course I will. I love you, Aaron," he answered hugging him close.

"I love you too, Spencer," he answered holding him close to him.

Soon they heard footsteps and someone clear their throat. They looked to see Dave in the door looking at them pityingly. He knew the next couple of weeks was going to be tough on them both but at the end of the day they'd still have each other and at the end they'd hopefully have Aaron completely back.

"Ready?" he asked.

Aaron nodded. "I'll just get my go bag."

He did so then made his goodbyes to his family and let his best friend drive him towards the rehab. Aaron watched them out of the window as he saw Spencer lead Jack back into the house.

"Spencer, where's Uncle Dave taking dad?" Jack asked once they were back in the house.

"He's taking him somewhere that can help him overcome his issue. He'll be there for a couple of weeks but we'll get to talk to him over the phone everyday..." he answered. Jack nodded glad he was still going to get to hear his dad's voice even if he wasn't going to get to see him. "Once he's out he'll still be fighting his issue a little but we'll help him, won't we?"

He nodded looking at him incredulously answering, "Of course we will."

"I'll make sure we still have fun while he's there as we'll both miss him so much we'll need to have extra fun."

"Great idea."


	15. Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron returns to work

Return

Three weeks later Aaron was getting ready to return to work. He'd been out of the rehab for a week and thankfully hadn't touched dilaudid since he'd gone in. It really helped that Spencer had turned the house from top to bottom and taken any remaining hiding dilaudid and got rid of it.

He felt a lot stronger and happier since coming off the drug and was so thankful for his family's unwavering support as he tried to conquer the addiction. Jack and Spencer had called him every day while he was inside and he'd been so grateful Spencer had taken him places to get his mind off his absence.

To his delight they'd even visited him twice at the rehab. He'd been a little worried the first time he saw them after he entered rehab especially Jack. Thankfully he just gave him a hug and answered they'd help him over his issue and he knew he hadn't meant to be different it was just his issue. He hugged him back and thanked him telling him it would all be alright soon.

He'd already put on his suit so he put his tie on and tied it in the mirror nervously. He knew his team had known where he was even if they hadn't asked Spencer. They weren't stupid and would have put two and two together. They'd already gone through one dilaudid addiction now they'd gone through his as well. Would they ever trust him again after his addiction?

He felt his boyfriend come up from behind him and wrap his arms around his waist placing his head on his shoulder. "Honey, it's going to be fine," Spencer assured.

"Can they ever trust me again?" he answered vulnerably. "When I should have been leading I was sneaking off to have a fix."

"They'll just be glad to see you're back."

"But my behaviour..."

"Was dictated by the dilaudid which you've successfully kicked out of your life. Aaron, you've conquered the addiction and I'm so proud of you..." He kissed his temple and added, "I know the battle isn't over yet but I'm going to be your sponsor. I know you can really do it and we're all going to help. You've come so far already."

He nodded smiling slightly then remembered something and looked down. "Sp..." he began.

"We removed all dilaudid from your office and go bag. We won't let temptation get in your way again," he assured.

"Thanks," he smiled slightly. "I really appreciate what you and Dave had done for me and are still doing."

"We just want what's best for you."

To his relief he was just greeted back like nothing had happened. They told him they were glad he was back and back to the old Hotch they all loved. He smiled and thanked them all for their support and promised them he'd remain clean. Dilaudid was now just another part of his past.

It felt so good to sit back in his old chair knowing he was clean now and had support to help him stay that way. He smiled at how far he'd come and how he hadn't lost his life, career and most importantly his family.

He went through his drawers and found a box in his top drawer. He took it out curious and opened it up when he saw the ring inside. He smiled remembering he'd bought it before all the trouble had happened at the bar and events had spiralled out of control.

He wanted to marry Spencer even more now. He'd stood right by his side through his drug addiction and his time in rehab. He even wanted to be his sponsor to help him stay clean. He couldn't imagine his life without him and his son adored him.


	16. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron confesses his fear of clowns

Epilogue

He sat in the study doing some files he'd felt were safe to bring home. Well that's what he'd said he was doing but he just couldn't get his head into it right now. He was thinking about the request his son had asked before he'd gone into the study. Once again he'd asked to go to the circus and see the clowns.

Once again he'd said no but this time he felt really guilty about it. He couldn't blame the drugs this time he thought as he'd been clean ever since rehab. He had absolutely no interest in dilaudid anymore and had won so much since. He'd proposed to Spencer the day he'd returned to the BAU and they'd married six months later. They'd just celebrated their six month anniversary.

It wasn't he didn't want to take Jack to the circus. He absolutely hated saying no to his son. It tore at him to see his disappointed little face when he did. He just couldn't shake associating every clown to the Joker. He didn't even like Batman as much as he used to. Whenever his son and husband would put on Batman he'd leave the room and come to the study.

He heard footsteps and turned to the door to face his husband. He knew Spencer would come after him and try to get to the bottom of his no. He knew he had to face it and admit it clowns scared the hell out of him since he was kidnapped and almost buried alive.

Spencer came in angry that his husband had once again said no to his son without giving him a reason. It wasn't like him to do so and he was always the one left with having to deal with Jack's disappointment. It wasn't fair.

As soon as he saw Aaron's guilty, troubled expression the anger fled. He knew there had to be another rooted answer for his no as he knew for sure his partner hadn't got back on the dilaudid. He was proud of him that he was still clean after a year.

He crouched down and placed his hand on Aaron's knee looking up into his eyes. "Honey, what is it? Why did you say no to Jack?"

"I'm scared of clowns," he muttered.

"What?" he asked confused.

Aaron got up and shouted, "I'm scared of clowns, alright. Scared to death of them. That's why I said no both times he asked to go to the circus to see them. If there were no clowns I'd take him."

Spencer got up and placed his hand on Aaron's shoulder making him look at him. "Aaron, why didn't you tell me before?" he asked concerned that he'd kept this hidden for just over a year. He didn't blame him though after everything he'd been through.

"Because I'm embarrassed. It's not normal for a grown man to be petrified of clowns."

"Aaron, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's perfectly understandable. Did you know I was terrified of shovels for months on end after Tobias Henkel?" He shook his head. "I associated them all to the incident."

"I can't bear saying no to Jack but I know there will be clowns and I don't want him to see me shaking.." he answered vulnerably.

"How about we take him but leave before the clowns come out?"

"It's the clowns he wants to see, Spencer. He loves them and I can't take that from him. He doesn't understand."

"Alright, how about we stay but if it gets too much we can take a breath of fresh air? We can always come back but it will slowly help you over your fear. I'm going to be here so you won't be alone when you face your fear."

He nodded. "Alright we'll take him."


End file.
